One thing this trip has done for us is clarified the difference between villages (村), townships (乡), towns (镇), county seats (县城) and cities (市), which are all various administrative levels of government. Well, I still can’t tell you how the politics of it work or what sort of population a place has to have before it gets bumped up to the next administrative level, but I can tell you what sort of amenities can and cannot be found at each level and what the chances are of being hassled by the cops (on a scale of 1-5), assuming you’re a non-Asian foreigner:

• Village: Not much going on here, and everyone cooks their own food so there are no restaurants. You may be able to find a place to stay if you can talk your way into a farmer’s home, but don’t expect running water or heat. Likelihood of police harassment: 1 — these guys have never gotten a briefing on foreigners and are just as curious as the rest of the villagers.
• Township: Smaller than a town by population, but on the same administrative level. This is the first hope you have of finding a place to stay outside of someone’s home, but don’t write that into your plans. At least there are a couple noodle joints. If the town has a hotel, expect to be boiling water and splashing yourself down from a basin if you’re in need of a wash. Likelihood of police harassment: 1.5.
• Town: This is the first place you can expect to find a hotel, of which there will likely be more than one. In the south, there’s probably a 50/50 chance that there will be a communal bathroom with a hot shower. The bathroom may smell of natural gas, in which case heating the water for the shower will require you to turn the knob on a busted propane tank (and make sure the hose running to the heater is attached properly) before turning on the water heater and hoping for the best. There is probably at least one internet cafe in town, but take your passport to register and don’t expect to be using your own laptop to get on the internet. Likelihood of police harassment: 3 — you might be the only foreigner these guys have actually seen in person, but someone in the office remembers seeing a registration form for foreigners in a drawer and will track you down to get every piece of information he can, including religion and address in your home country, to make sure he’s not overlooking anything that would get him in trouble.
• County seat: You’d probably be tempted to just call these cities — they’re big enough, after all. But asking people for directions to the “city center (市中心)” only gets blank stares. You’ll find hotels of all sizes and can get free Wifi at one of those Chinese coffee chains with a 30-page menu of exotic drinks and over-priced “Western food,” that is if you can stand to listen to one Kenny G CD on repeat all day. The better alternative is to go to a business hotel and get a room with a computer. This is the first place you’ll find an actual Western restaurant, but it will be a KFC. The pimply guy at the counter will meet your eyes with a knowing look that says, “There are foreigners in town, of course they came to the Western restaurant to eat!” even though you’re only there for an 8 kuai coffee and would never go to a KFC in your home country. Likelihood of police harassment: 4 — hotels in county seats are supposed to have computers hooked up to some sort of hotel registration network, but the hotel owner at the hotel you go to, the cheapest one in town of course, has never hosted a foreigner before, doesn’t know how to read your passport, and decides not to enter you into the system. Despite the town’s population of more than 100,000 people, the police get wind that foreigners are in town and show up to try to scare some free Zhonghua cigarettes out of the hotel owner and cover their own asses in case their boss finds out foreigners are in town and asks if they are registered in the system. They might decide on a whim to make you empty out your bags to prove that you don’t have any drugs, weapons or misconceptions about your right to privacy just for good measure.
• City: Here you will find hotels of all shapes and sizes and most likely a McDonald’s. If you’re in a wealthy, coastal province, you may even find some Western restaurants (we’re usually craving Indian food for some reason, and India is west of China, so we count it). If you’re in Beijing, Shanghai, Guangzhou or Shenzhen, Qingdao or Dalian there’s a Starbucks, but you probably want to avoid it in order to support the local, independent cafes that you can usually find in cities. “Why can’t Starbucks open some branches at the town-level so I don’t have to go to UBC Coffee,” you wonder. Likelihood of police harassment: 2 — this is a city after all, and the police should have other things to worry about, like actual crime. However, if you stay in the cheapest hotel in town, they might drop by to force you out and make you move to a three-star or above place for the sake of the local economy.

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